therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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