Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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