HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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