How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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