of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
