your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
