sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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