a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
