I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize