Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize