Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
