sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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