marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
how does that bad decision feel?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
