So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
