Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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