i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We are two peas in an std pod
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
