It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize