Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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