Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
