Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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