I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
This is classic penis vs brain.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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