During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
