he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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