I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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