Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
