bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
