So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
