I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
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