Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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