It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We have so much sex to catch up on
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
