capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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