It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
