smell my finger.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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