I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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