You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
