I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
