i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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