don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
