office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
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