If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
