ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
