I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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