In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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