Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
