Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
The adults are the big ones right?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
