ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
