I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize