I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
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