I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
