I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
