I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
