They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
