Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
