I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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