We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
