u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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