seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
