Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
party gras won. party gras always wins.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
