it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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