Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
