I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize